Magic scam

I've been interested in magic for a very long time, but for an unusual reason. Any standard effect for any task can be achieved using conventional means. And they're fundamentally better. Because using an escort instead of amortization and using a gun instead of a fireball makes one big difference. The bullet flies precisely to the target and hits it comfortably; you need a dead or wounded animal, not a charred beast. You also need a sane girl without true love, not an unreliable fool with equally false affection. Magic will provide a one-time element of surprise, but then it becomes a normal part of the system. I was interested in a great source of universal power, not a pure eco-friendly spring. I'm interested in the underground current from which it feeds in fantasy worlds. It seems that there is no such thing as IRL magic, and never can be. All attempts to find it lead to generally functioning mechanisms of the psyche, not a separate mechanism in the world. Yes, that's cool and useful. But this is a fake spring with a pipe and filter, where the tap water is the same as in a good apartment. The paradox of my views is that after visiting countless places, trying countless practices and traditions, I found nothing. Every successful practitioner I met was a nutcase who achieved their success without magical means. But at the same time, I am absolutely certain of the existence of real magic. The double paradox is that I want to find it, not use it. I mean, I clearly see how to solve any problem without magic. Moreover, a non-magical solution will produce a hundredfold greater results than a magical one. I also don't seek magic as a form of escapism. Simply because a simple move or an unconventional source of income yields the same 100x. My search for magic is not a search for a scientific metaphysical basis for existence. Again, not in the form of quelling the fear of death or alienation. The foundation of existence is the answer to the question of what to do on a 100+ year timescale. Build pyramids or cryogenic chambers. Regardless of the afterlife, it's a question of values ​​determined by the fundamental structure of the world. So, what I've always really seen is: society is bullshit, science is bullshit, physics is bullshit. None of this really interests me; it's simply the environment in which I'm forced to operate due to my incomplete view of the world. Magic, reincarnation, Lovecraftian gods. What do they have in common? The same thing. The view that everything I don't give a shit about is truly bullshit and secondary. A clear example. There are simply unacceptable worlds. Say, where there's a lot of violence and drugs. They're well-described, but marginal. There are uninteresting worlds that aren't even described in fiction. Let's say the world of most birds and cats, where there are unions for offspring and small clubs and get-togethers for navigation, such as signaling food and habitats, for example. This is uninteresting to read because it's not applicable to us. A club of hermits living by hunting and gathering is impossible because there isn't a sufficiently abundant environment for individuals to do so alone, even in the habitats of wild tribes. And what I'm looking for is two or three levels more marginal than this. That's all.